Beauty

Beauty Queens by Libba Bray

Posted on by Beth Hull

The set-up: An airplane carrying Miss Teen Dream Beauty Pageant contestants crashes on a deserted island.

Main characters’ goals: I think a better question here would be “Who are the main characters?” because there are SO MANY. I’m not knocking it – it’s unusual and fun. But it’s hard to give specifics. Basically, the girls’ initial goal (collectively) is to get off the island and get home.

My reaction: In all honesty, I will admit this was not a fast read for me. There could be a number of factors here – revisions on my own work-in-progress, being sick, and whatever. But I think the main reason is my personal preference for singular point-of-view stories. I don’t generally enjoy dipping into the heads of many characters; I don’t like how it interrupts the flow of the story.

That said! Bray writes this story VERY WELL. The multiple viewpoint works for the book. We are expected to be torn out of the story line periodically, because this narrative has commercial breaks – yes, commercial breaks! – scripted into the book. So even though multiple (or is this omniscient?) POV isn’t something I always embrace, the approach works here.

Also, as the cover promises, it is very funny, very satirical, and overall enjoyable.

Of interest to writers: Again, commercial breaks! Satire! This is a unique story, told in a unique way (there are also footnotes, which I love). Even if you don’t want to read the whole 390-page book, it’s worth a peek just to see how Bray presents the story. The writing and plot are surprising, and “surprising” is a very refreshing thing in YA literature.

I always read Acknowledgements pages, and must also say, the Acknowledgements in Beauty Queens are hilarious.

Bottom line: Commercial breaks!

Reminds me of: Swamplandia! by Karen Russell (because of the utter bizarreness of the premise)


Hairstyles of the Poor and Obscure

Posted on by Beth Hull

Long hair is good for going out (this is for a wedding). Notice it does not solve the problem of whiny toddlers.

When people talk about the relief they feel in “letting their hair down” I frown in confusion. For me, relief comes from putting it up, getting it out of the way. Off my neck, away from my ears and forehead.

This came up at a play-date yesterday, and I was relieved to find that I’m not alone in this. I’m not what anyone would call a “hair person.” Once in a blue moon (perhaps less often) I wear my hair down. For about thirty minutes. After which time, in desperation/irritation, I throw it back up into a ponytail/bun/scarf/hat. While reading some parenting magazine I came across a short article on how to liven up your hairstyle so that you’re not wearing “the mom ponytail.” I was a little irritated. I had the mom ponytail going before I was even thinking about children. I don’t think I even knew children existed until after I’d perfected the mom ponytail.

Husband liked my hair long, so I didn’t cut it for awhile…like, eight years. I should also mention that he threatened to let his hair grow out if I cut mine, effectively killing any short-haircut plans I may have entertained. Finally I pointed out that my hair was pleasing no one. I wear it in a ponytail even in sleep – a loose ponytail that, when very long, I could throw past my shoulder on the pillow, sometimes smacking Husband with it at night. Totally an accident. Really.

As I was saying. Since I sleep in a ponytail, keep my hair in a bun all day, every day, the only person to see it down most days is Z. I leave it down to air dry. That’s it. So I finally had a few inches cut off, bringing it to just below my shoulders. I think I lost at least three pounds just from losing that hair.

My friend L, a hairstylist, performed the cut. She did a fabulous job. Sadly, I am still not up to the task of doing anything with my hair. It’s a wavy blond mop that sits in a twisted little sphere at the top of my crown most days, and fluffs out behind me in a Hermione-Granger-esque ponytail when I’m feeling adventurous.

I’m starting to feel desperate. Ann Lamott got dreadlocks because she couldn’t deal with her hair, and I’m thinking that’s a possibility. Or maybe a buzz cut? So, so tempting.

Fantasy Hairstyle Wish List:

1. No flatiron required.

2. Wash, air dry, look fabulous.

3. Off my neck, away from my face.

4. Makes me look ten pounds lighter. (This is a fantasy.)

5. Helps me be a better mother/wife/person.

6. Does the dishes on its own while I sit on the couch reading a good book.

7. Cures writer’s block. All-around inspiring.

8. Magically prevents whining within a 3-mile radius. My own whining excepted, of course. Otherwise, how could I write this blog?