goals

Friday Five, the Whatever Edition

Posted on by Beth Hull

1. I have read oodles of good books lately, some of which were described in my last post. And there are more on the horizon! If I ever am not holding a book, little Maverick probably won’t recognize me.

2. “Little” Maverick is growing up! He’s got three little teeth nubs (very sharp), he’s crawling like a big boy (i.e. not “commando” style anymore), and he’s pulling himself to stand up against pretty much everything: me, the coffee table, his sister, our cat, the sliding glass door, his crib, the toilet…. I look at him and I look at Z, and I can’t believe he’s going to grow up, that I’m not going to be able to control him pick him up and cuddle him whenever I feel like it.

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And Maverick makes me giggle with the tried and true “pull all the toilet paper from the roll and bunch it on the floor” move.

3. Inspired by friend/fellow writer/health coach Jamie Weil, I made a vision board! Now, vision boards fall under the heading of “really cool creative things I could do to put off writing.” (Keeping vision boards company are things like character collages and detailed maps of fictional settings. And blog posts (see #5, below)). But I was feeling burnt out and overwhelmed with everything going on, and I have all these goals. So I got out some boxes of craft supplies and went to work. I’ve got family, healthy lifestyle (eating and exercising), and writing on there. There is no chocolate cake, because, unfortunately, chocolate cake does not support my goal of choosing foods that make me feel good in the long run.

4. Going along with the vision board & healthy eating, I made it through 21 days in a row of eating vegetables at lunch and dinner! And even though I accomplished my goal of 21 days, the habit carried through, and I ate vegetables with both of those meals yesterday. It feels great to succeed at something.

From habitforge.com

From habitforge.com

5. Despite that success, I’ve been feeling like I put the “suc” in success these days. Everywhere I go on the webternetz, I’m feeling insecure and like I have nothing good to add to conversations, and I’m really seriously considering giving up this blog because I haven’t been enjoying it. I love you all, I truly do. It’s just an added pressure lately, to come up with something to say that I don’t wholeheartedly hate. (And doesn’t sound like whining. Like this. See?!) This means it’s time for another Internet Blackout! The rules: I get 30 minutes per day to check email over the course of the next two weeks. No blogs, no Twitter, no Facebook. It’ll be tough but I think I’ll be mentally healthier for it. And my house might be cleaner, too. The Internet Blackout will commence tomorrow, and I’ll be back (maybe!) on Friday, February 22nd.

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2013 The Year In Review (with highlights from 2012)

Posted on by Beth Hull

Yes, I am writing this year in review A YEAR EARLY. The way I like looking at goals is as if they are already accomplished, because this helps train my brain to expect them to happen, to expect me to do what it takes to get them done. It works…most of the time. (I’ve noticed it only works on things that I can control. Not things I can’t control, like, say, the publishing industry or the lottery…this is me, refraining from making a comparison between the publishing industry in the lottery…but not really.)

In 2012, I read 75 published books, plus many completed manuscripts for writer friends.

In 2013, I’ve read about the same amount. Maybe fewer books, because more of my free time went toward writing.

In 2012, I revised a YA novel, drafted a YA novel, revised and submitted two short stories and wrote a third (as of now, still in its first draft). One of those short stories will be published soon. Trust me, y’all will be hearing from me once it’s available.

In 2013, I’ve revised a YA novel, drafted a new one and revised it as well, revised and submitted one short story, and drafted two more.

In 2012, I had a baby.

In 2013, I have not birthed any new children. I have celebrated the ones I have, and have vowed to keep my brood at two. Two is good. Two is manageable. Two means they haven’t outnumbered us.

In 2012, I spent a lot of time commenting on other peoples’ blogs and creating blog posts of my own.

In 2013, my internet/blog presence has been limited, with me commenting occasionally on other blogs and writing one blog post a week (with a few scheduled breaks).

In 2012, I compared my writing (methods and accomplishments) to others’. I compared myself to others and fretted about success.

In 2013, I have ceased to focus on what other writers are doing (beyond the necessary and very pleasurable act of market research through reading, and, of course, commiserating about writerly angst with close friends). Instead, my focus lies in improving my own craft and honing my own ideas of what it means to be a successful writer.

In 2012, I sought balance in my personal life and writing life.

2013 has been no different, except I’ve felt more balanced and more at peace with the fact that complete, constant balance is impossible.

In 2012, vegetables were accidental.

In 2013, I have formed the habit of including vegetables with both lunch and dinner every day. Even if “lunch” consists of a bowl of Doritos and one carrot. (The image above is a captured note from habitforge.com.)

And finally, in 2013, I have ceased to spend hours crafting appropriate conclusions for my blog posts. I would also like to hear what other people have accomplished in 2013.

Internet Blackout 2011, Part Dos

Posted on by Beth Hull

…a continuation of Wednesday’s post, plus a quick reflection.

diary + manuscript = obsession

Day 5. Only two pages of obsessing about writing, and my bad mood: But if I do feel like crap because of issues in my writing, does that make me a bad person? Can I just blame the stinkin’ wind & call it not-my-fault?

Day 6. I’ve decided my email limitation challenge thingie is sort of stupid. It’s extremely inconvenient when it comes to planning outings & events.

+ 10.5 pages of manuscript-obsession-drama.

To a critique partner & friend I wrote, “This is dumber than the No-Chocolate Challenge of 1999!” (Yes, my friend A & I both did this. It wasn’t really dumb, just kind of annoying once I realized I could get through the year without chocolate.)

Day 7. I have some hours to myself! Yay! I keep getting stuck, though [again, sigh, I am writing about writing TBC]. Right now is when my email & blog ban really helps – otherwise I’d be emailing & blogging right now.

——

Earth's Crammed...with obsessing over my manuscript.

Why are you doing this?! people wanted to know. I couldn’t really tell them. Before the challenge began, I hypothesized and dreamed that it would magically make me prettier, make me happier, and make me lose me ten pounds.

None of the above. Well, maybe I was a little prettier. My eyes weren’t as red from staring at a glowing screen for so many hours each day. And maybe I was even a little happier, as I was spending more time with friends and family, and got oodles of work done on my manuscript. But the weight loss? No way. Because with some of my newly-freed-up free time, I baked. We eat what we bake, in this house.

Overall, limiting email to an hour on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday freed up some time. Not writing blog posts freed up even more time. I got tons of work (and obsessing) done for TBC and felt really good about that. The other side of the story is that not checking email on certain days was kind of pointless, especially with my being so strict about it. I should have broken my email ban to confirm my meeting with the preschool director, for example.

Will I change anything as a result of this experiment? I’m thinking rather than give myself a LAW about when I can and can’t work online, I could try to limit my visits to a couple of times a day during the week. That way I can take care of basic planning with friends and colleagues, and on weekends I’ll still  get that family time I so enjoyed. And in the future when I really need those extra hours for writing, I can always take a little vacation from my blog.

ETA: Just read a great blog post featured on Freshly Pressed about another writer reflecting on technology’s impact on her writing time management.

Internet Blackout 2011, Part 1

Posted on by Beth Hull

What did I learn from severely limiting my time online? I’m still unsure. Perhaps on Friday, when I finish this post, I’ll have some answers for myself. I mean, really, I haven’t had much time to reflect, what with all the email checking I’ve been doing lately.

Here are some notes from my diary (diary quotes in purple, my witty and amazing comments the usual gray/black):

Day 1. As soon as I fired up my laptop, the mouse hovered over the Firefox icon, but with a great push of willpower I moved it over to the Microsoft Word icon. So proud of myself.

Right now I’m thinking, yes, I can totally do this. I’m a little worried that there could be urgent emails waiting in my inbox, but really, I’m not the president. I’m not in charge of anything. So I’m a little itchy-twitchy about not getting to check, but at least I’m rational about it (so far).

Besides: I used Z’s entire two-hour nap to work on TBC (The Black City…the title of my, ahem, manuscript). Got the ward thing all figured out, made some little edits. It feels good. And today felt more like a family day. We didn’t do anything special, since Z has a cold, but we hung out all together on the couch after her nap, instead of me rushing off to check email.

Email. Email & my website – those are the two time-sucking culprits. Facebook can take time, but I don’t honestly enjoy it, especially not posting about myself – isn’t that what my blog is for? It’s fun to check up on other people, but I’m usually not on for longer than twenty minutes, & only every couple of days. My Twitter visits are much shorter. If I’m honest I’ll admit that Twitter’s a little intimidating. Intwitteridating?

Anyway, loved my day offline. But I’ve already got a list of email priorities, so I don’t waste time once I finally sign on.

Day 2. Printed out manuscript. Nothing in my diary about internet black-out because I was too busy making manic predictions of how this is the novel that will hit it big. (I am embarrassed to admit this here, which is why you get only summary.)

Day 3. A dream I had – I accidentally checked my email, breaking my hiatus. I was really upset about it in the dream. Then in real life, I had to email a note to P about the potluck, asking her what to bring! I didn’t have her phone number! Husband said it was okay. In my defense, I started drafting a message on paper and was going to make him sign into my email and type it up.

Signing in and seeing all those emails waiting for me (yes, most of them Freecycle) – and then not clicking on them! Difficult. There were two that looked especially interesting. Damn.

Day 4. Here I gripe about the wind (I REALLY HATE THE WIND). I wrote a random poem:

Very few things
disgust me more
than a stuffed animal fallen
on our bathroom floor.

MOVE OVER, W. S. MERWIN. I also complain about how sucky my manuscript is. Honestly, my feelings about it change constantly. What’s the Hamlet quote? I think it goes, “I am but in love with my manuscript north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a piece of crap when I see one.”

I checked email yesterday! Yes! I was supposed to do only one session – at least, that had been my aim, but with the schmooze at P’s & uploading files for the Writer’s Group, I needed both a morning & an afternoon session. Each was about 20 minutes.

It felt pretty good. Lots of support from people emailing me to tell me how they liked that I’m not checking email (and they noted this irony). Some business stuff. Kinda liberating to jot off quick responses & not dilly-dally while writing them.

The diary entry goes on for NINE pages, nearly all of it obsessing about TBC. The lack of emailing and blogging redirects me to the paper diary, I suppose. Also, I talked with another internet-addicted friend on the phone and warned her she might have to check my email for me if things got desperate.

On Friday I’ll post the rest of the wrap-up.