contemporary fantasy

First Sentences in YA Lit

Posted on by Beth Hull

Here are 30 first sentences. Do you know the books they go to? If you know what I’ve been reading lately you’ll have an advantage, but I threw a few old favorites in just to keep you guessing. Um, obviously if the suspense is killing you it’s easy enough to find the answers online (which is why this isn’t a contest, just an excuse to use the information from my first-line notebook). I’ll post the authors & book titles on Monday.

The interesting part of this exercise is the discovery that some first lines are definite hooks. I know which ones I think are amazing, and I know which ones, well, aren’t. And there are a few that are not winning first sentences, but if you stick around for the rest of the paragraph–Wow (I’m thinking specifically of #17 when I write this).

Take a guess if you feel like it, or just enjoy!

1. We went to the moon to have fun, but the moon turned out to completely suck.

2. It was a dark and stormy night.

3. I remember lying in the snow, a small red spot of warm going cold, surrounded by wolves.

4. When I wake up, the other side of the bed is cold.

5. I don’t believe in ghosts.

6. The tree woman choked on poison, the slow sap of her blood burning.

7. Chauncey was with a farmer’s daughter on the grassy banks of the Loire River when the storm rolled in, and having let his gelding wander in the meadow, was left to his own two feet to carry him back to the chateau.

8. Blood fills my mouth.

9. In these dungeons the darkness was complete, but Katsa had a map in her mind.

10. Her parents were going to kill her for this.

11. Just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse I saw the dead guy standing next to my locker.

12. On the day Claire became a member of the Glass House, somebody stole her laundry.

13. Mommy forgot to warn the new babysitter about the basement.

14. Janie Hannagan’s math book slips from her fingers.

15. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

16. “Please tell me that’s not going to be part of my birthday dinner this evening.”

17. There were only two kinds of people in our town.

18. Around midnight, her eyes at last took shape.

19. Torrential rain was pouring the afternoon Rebecca Brown arrived in New Orleans.

20. Dad had Uncle Eddie round, so naturally they had to come and see what I was up to.

21. It didn’t take Phoebe long to figure out Jeremy wasn’t coming back for her.

22. “Guess who?”

23. Someone was looking at me, a disturbing sensation if you’re dead. 

24. Some things start before other things.

25. Flames shot high, turning the night lurid with carnival light.

26. Everyone’s seen my mother naked. 

27. Jason was going to Brain Camp. 

28. I’d never given much thought to how I would die – though I’d had reason enough in the last few months – but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

29. My mother used to tell me about the ocean. 

30. There are these bizarre people who actually like physical education class.

Author Friends: I’d love to read your first sentences, too! Post them below.

Black Magic Sanction by Kim Harrison

Posted on by Beth Hull

The first book of Kim Harrison’s I read was Every Which Way But Dead. And I was blown away. Like Kelley Armstrong, Kim Harrison was one of the first women in the horror genre to actually get my attention. Yeah, Laurell K. Hamilton got my attention too, but the first book of hers I picked up was Cerulean Sins, and it got my attention more in the way a train wreck gets a person’s attention. Or, perhaps more accurately, in the way unexpected and distasteful pornography gets a person’s attention.

Kim Harrison made urban fantasy cool. Her world is so real, from the descriptions of all the Inderlanders (nonhumans) mingling with the humans, to the church her main character, Rachel, lives in, to the very idioms used by her characters. It’s such a thoroughly written setting that I feel like I could live there. Black Magic Sanction keeps the world alive. The characters, the creatures, everything is there.

***weak spoiler here…close your eyes, D-Chan***

Holy. Elf. Can you believe she makes herself pixy-sized and gets to see the inside of Jenks’s house/stump? I would read the whole book again just for that one description. This is where Harrison absolutely impresses me, because I never would have even explored the idea of going inside the pixy stump. I mean, Rachel is a human (well, a witch, but human-sized. You know what I mean), and way too big. But in this novel she has to get inside, for reasons I won’t divulge, and wow.

***spoiler over…you can open your eyes now***

The only problem I had with Black Magic Sanction was the issue most longer series get into: too many characters. There are so many memorable people in Rachel’s world, and that mirrors life exactly, because we all interact with many people on a daily or weekly basis (unless we are introverts who finally get our wishes and just get to stay home for a few days. Without toddlers. But I digress). This is where literature should not mirror life, and Black Magic Sanction could have benefited from a smaller cast of characters.

I keep waiting to read a Kim Harrison book in which Rachel has simply gone too far in her journey, where she’s hit the limit of her character growth and there’s nowhere else for Harrison to take her (again, not trying to rip on LKH, but see what Anita Blake is doing? If you do, you’ll understand why I get a little skittish once a series gets past book 5 or 6).

That hasn’t happened yet. Rachel is still learning and growing, and I’m thrilled to watch it all happen.

For Kim Harrison’s blog, click here. For her website, click here.

First NiFtY Author Interview: Seven N. Blue

Posted on by Beth Hull

For my very first NiFtY (Not Famous…Yet!) Author Interview, I give you Seven N. Blue. I met Seven through the Sacramento Writer’s Group and we clicked immediately. Not only are we both highly intelligent, creative writer mamas, but we have written our young adult fantasy manuscripts in tandem. Seven has incredibly fascinating ideas as well as the ability to construct convincing and endearing characters. Without further introduction, here…she…is!

BH: Where do you get most of your ideas and inspiration?

SB: From music, music videos, and artwork. Sometimes video games.  I don’t really play them, but there are some gorgeous video games out there (Still Life, Silent Hill) those are two of my favorite aesthetically speaking – I played Silent Hill just to watch the scenery. And music.  I love music of almost any era. I consider music a time machine and a doorway to the imaginary world I spend a lot of time at.

BH: Do you have a set writing schedule, or are you more of a “when the mood hits” kind of girl?

SB: Must have a writing schedule. I have a toddler!

BH: Can you compare Myla, the main character in The Innocents, to anyone you know in real life?

SB: There is a little of me in Myla, but then again, there is a little of me in almost every character I write. I had an interesting teen life. I did things that, well, most teens would not.  Like getting married at 16, for example.

BH: Wow, 16! I never knew that about you. Are you willing to share anything about that?

SB: Yeah, it lasted 11 months! I was divorced  living on my own by the time I was seventeen.

BH: Can you share any details about your current WIP (work in progress)?

SB: Oohhh! That is top secret! At least right now!

BH: (Well, without spilling anything to the audience, I will whisper: I know a little bit about it, and trust me, it’s gonna be great.)

What does your writing workspace look like?

SB: This is funny.  Right now I am sort of “in the hallway” of life.  In “between places”.  My Red Dell Laptop on a very cluttered desk (the desk is not mine, but the laptop is!).

BH: You’ve just finished a young adult (YA) novel, and your WIP is a YA novel. Any plans to write for other age groups?

SB: I don’t know.  It’s hard to say. I feel like I will always be seventeen inside. Maybe I can do early twenties, like in five years…when I emotionally grow up!

BH: What is your favorite YA novel of all time?

SB: I am going to have to say two authors here, because they both blew me away.  Definitely The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. That book was amazing.  Not just the story line but how incredible Collins was at juxtaposing the feelings in her characters.  For example, the main character really liked her partner…a lot…he saved her life…but she had to kill him. I also love love love Holly Black and her bad girl protagonists.  Valiant is one of my favorite books ever because of her unforgettable characters like Sketchy Dave and Lollipop and a plot where injecting fairy dust can make mortals perform magic – think of the possibilities for story with that plot!

BH: When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer?

SB: When I was six and my father raved about a short story I wrote.  I won every writing contest in elementary and junior high (I still have the trophies! Well, they’re in storage now while I am in the “hallway” of life).

BH: Are you currently seeking an agent’s representation? What are you looking for in an agent?

SB: I am looking for agent representation.  I just want a good agent who will do what they say, and I hope we both can have a lot of fun, be productive, and achieve our dreams together.

BH: What is the best advice anyone has given you with regards to your writing?

SB: Grow a thick skin, believe in your dreams and keep on writing.  Don’t wait for inspiration, sit your butt in the chair and believe in the process of writing. It will develop, the ideas will come and they will amaze you.

BH: You’ve always struck me as a very positive, upbeat person when it comes to your writing. I think all aspiring novelists can use a bit of the positive in their lives–any tips on how to keep the hope alive, even when the query rejections try to smother it?

SB: This is funny, I am there right now.  I think I have received about thirty rejections so far, along with some great feedback from the ABNA reviewers (The Innocents made it to the top 5% Quarterfinals for 2010) to alleviate the pain.  I also have a partial out right now and I am waiting for feedback.  My advice would be to realize that it is a power greater than yourself who is writing through you, and you must keep going.  You will be tested to see how badly you want it, and you must persevere.  It is all part of the process – growing a thick skin through rejection letters is what prepares us for when we are published and half the folks love us while the other half hates us.  I think rejections are all part of the process of becoming a professional published writer.  We all have to go through it and we should welcome them with open arms because all they is that we are that much closer to our dream agent, and our book deal.

BH: What is your experience like, balancing writing and motherhood?

SB: Wow.  Yeah, not easy.  I have a writing schedule I abide by.  I write no matter what during the allotted time.  When I am supposed to be spending time with my son, then I spend time with him wholeheartedly and not worry about my writing because I know I have a schedule.  A schedule is the only way I can function!

There you have them: wise words from my pal and critique “pardner” Seven. She might not be famous…YET, but with her talent and dedication, it won’t be long. Special thanks to Seven for being my very first interviewee!

On Seven’s website you can read everything from book reviews, to advice on writing, to musings about family and motherhood. And today, as an added bonus, she has interviewed me as well!

Writer Quiz

Posted on by Beth Hull

Dreamer? Wisher? Hoper? Player? [A Friday Free-for-All Entry]

1. Do you have at least seven titles but no salable manuscript?

2. Have you spent over two hours finessing your writing space (on purpose–not just cumulatively over the years)?

3. Is your Acknowledgments page already drafted (if even in your head)?

4. Do you read five or more different writer blogs?

5. Can you hear your friends groaning when you ask them to read your manuscript (again)? Even if you’re asking in an email?

6. How many times have you checked the query success pie charts on an authors website like authoradvance.com?

7. Have you ever used your blog as an excuse to put off revising your manuscript?

8. Have you ever used dirty dishes as an excuse to put off revising your manuscript?

9. Is your manuscript…
a) halfway through the first draft
b) finished after only a few months
c) halfway through a rewrite after it was supposedly finished?

10. If someone asked you to describe your writing routine, would your answer be among the following?
a) when inspiration hits
b) when my child takes her nap
c) when the moon is full and I’ve just finished a Laurell K. Hamilton book for inspiration

11. How many drinks does it take for you to think your writing is “really great?” Is it the same number it takes to make you think you’re speaking fluently in a foreign language?

12. Do you indulge in fantasies where Stephenie Meyer greets you with the words, “Dang, I wish I had thought of that idea”?

13. Do you indulge in fantasies where Seth Green bites your neck (as he did Stephenie Meyer’s) at the premier of your book-made-into-a-film? Have you lost 15 pounds in said fantasy?

14. Do you feel just a tad bit queasy posting this blog entry, knowing that it’s sort of a confession but put into the form of a survey?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, wow. Get thee to a writer’s conference.

Yes, yes. I’m going. Tomorrow.

Reno, bay-bee!

Prologue Problems

Posted on by Beth Hull

A Friday Free-for-All [in which our heroine obsesses about writerly things]

I’ve been reading literary agent Mary Kole’s blog, kidlit.com. Right now she’s doing a series of critiques on story beginnings and her first critique post caught me by surprise. The author wrote one word: Preface, and Kole stopped immediately to comment “Ah, our first problem! Just kidding. Sort of. I think, in a lot of instances, a preface or a prologue is a crutch. It’s the author’s way of showing the reader something gripping in the hopes that the reader will then read through some less exciting backstory…” To me, this is very bad news. I love prologues, and I especially love writing them.

A brief history of my prologues:

House Red: The prologue is a total crutch, but c’mon, it’s my first novel. In this case, Mary Kole is right.

Savage Autumn: The prologue is not so much a crutch per se…but I’ll admit Chapter One starts off more slowly than what is currently popular in contemporary fantasy YA fiction. The prologue’s there because someone had to die before the story begins, so the reader can believe the antagonist is capable of killing.

The Black City: Brand new prologue, I fell in love with it immediately (which is a sure sign that something is very wrong). Buoyed by my success with the prologue, I started the first chapter. And it’s terrible. It’s really, absolutely terrible. It starts off slowly, with too much explanation and even more backstory, as well as very dull description of the world. So in this case, my prologue didn’t start off as a crutch, but I used that beginning as an excuse to let everything fall to poo-ness.

Granted, this is my very first draft for The Black City, and there will be plenty of time to fix those issues later on. Thank heavens.

Prologues aren’t always terrible, right? I mean, I’ve read plenty of  novels where they work beautifully. I find them all the time in my favorite mysteries and contemporary fantasies. A couple of fantasy examples I can come up with off the top of my head are: Fallen by Lauren Kate, Frostbitten, and Stolen, both by Kelley Armstrong. Hmm, looking at this short list, I realize that in order for a prologue to be successful, the novel’s title must end in “en.”

That’s easily remedied. Savage Autumnen. The Black Cityen.

All better!

Seriously, though, I will go back to my Chapter Ones and pretend the prologues don’t exist. Tighten up the chapters, bring in tension and whatever else is needed. Fireworks. Amorous alligators. Really angry toddlers with kicky feet.