The Unwelcome Mat

What part of NO SOLICITING is unclear?

Is the word “soliciting” too big for the average door-to-door salesperson? Maybe they’re all from Britain and they think my sign is anti-lawyer?

Whatever. It’s a tasteful sign, black, with gold lettering. Probably $1.99 at Home Depot. It came with the house, so I don’t know how much it cost. But I’m thinking of replacing it. Maybe with something neon, flashing letters. A hot pink flamingo beside it. Because I DON’T LIKE TO BE BOTHERED. I don’t want whatever you’re offering. I don’t want a new roof, a free estimate. I don’t want strangers knocking on my door.

When we moved here, Z was almost five months old and taking three or four naps a day. The doorbell was extremely loud, and while we didn’t often have unexpected visitors, the few times we did the clanging of the doorbell woke her up. My solution: a sign that reads “Please KNOCK instead of ringing doorbell.” It’s taped over the doorbell, so no one can miss it.

Should I add a post-script? “Please KNOCK instead of ringing doorbell, but if you’re selling something don’t even bother, unless you’re a girl scout selling cookies.”

I don’t want your new siding, your solar energy, your religion, your encyclopedias, or your pizza coupons. But I do want your cookies.