Mr. Penguin can do many things. He can wear your cloth diapers and your t-shirts and onesies. He can sit on your potty. He can lie down in the cradle while you rock him. He can say grace. He can sit in your high chair and eat the pretend food you spoon in the general direction of his beak. He can hold your hands and dance the Five o’clock Disco Dance Breakdown.
But Mr. Penguin cannot ride your bike. Try again and again, stomp your feet, ask Mama to “peas hep” (please help), throw Mr. Penguin to the floor. He will not do it. Not ever. Mr. Penguin cannot ride your bike for the same reason he cannot wear your pants.
Why not? Because Mr. Penguin has no legs. And short of a very risky and time-consuming surgery, there is nothing Mama can do to peas hep.
While we’re on the subject, Mr. Penguin will never take a bath with you. Why not? Because Mama says so.