It’s a Disease

A Friday Free-for-All Entry

One thing that I love about reading Janet Evanovich and Sarah Dessen is the food. All kinds of snack food–everything you can dream of. Donuts are practically their own character in Evanovich’s books, as well as fried chicken and pineapple upside-down cake. And the teens in Dessen’s novels are constantly guzzling giant sodas and buying snacks from the gas station mini-marts. Ah, what wouldn’t I give for that sort of fictional metabolism?

The other day (it doesn’t really matter which day, as in this respect most days are the same), I had to have chocolate. Any kind would do, and the chocolate chips were long gone from their hiding place on the top shelf in the spice cupboard. Taking a leaf out of one of Dessen’s books, I strapped Z into her stroller and headed to the nearest Quik-Zip (in real life known as the Tower Mart).

On the way there I consoled myself with thoughts of how I had been working out every day (until I came down with that blasted cold), and would soon resume the exercise habit. I reminded myself of my virtuous salads, made from the lettuce growing in my own back yard (which of course makes it even healthier). I thought, Why, I’m walking to the store! That should burn the equivalent of the calories in one almond in the candy bar I am about to purchase!

With thoughts of chocolate-coated almonds distracting me, I could totally ignore the part of me wondering what sort of example I was setting for my child. And when I could ignore it no longer, I berated it, because Z isn’t even two yet! She won’t remember one tiny trip to the Tower Mart taken on one March morning when she was nineteen months old. (Whether she will remember repeated trips taken frequently throughout the rest of her toddlerhood remains to be seen.)

As luck had it, chocolate bars were on sale. I bought two. Okay! Fine! I’ll be honest!

I bought four.

As I stood in line, clutching my chocolate, I looked at the woman in line to the front of me, buying a pack of cigarettes. Then I turned to the man behind me who held a case of Budweiser.

I’d like to say that I drew the appropriate conclusion, put the candy back on the display, and wheeled Z out of the store. What actually happened was I drew the appropriate conclusion, bought the chocolate anyway, and ate one of them as soon as Z went down for her nap that afternoon.

Okay! Fine! I’ll be honest!

I ate two.

Eh. Nothing much else to say about that.


  1. Dana · March 12, 2010

    Oh, my lurve, you crack me up.

    Cheeseburger doritos are my new thing (have to replenish supply this weekend). Although I am really loving my dark chocolate Dove hearts that I bought FOR MYSELF for V-day.

    • Dana · March 12, 2010

      This day is turning out to be a chocolate, cheeseburger Doritos, beer, and Johnny Depp day. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

      • bethhull · March 12, 2010

        My day too. I wonder if the Tower Mart has cheeseburger Doritos?

    • bethhull · March 12, 2010

      You say “am really loving” V-day chocolate. Present tense. You have great powers of self-control. Any chocolate given me on Valentine’s Day is gone by February 15th.

  2. Becky · March 12, 2010

    You are hilarious!

  3. Vicki R. · March 12, 2010

    Love this post ๐Ÿ™‚ Especially your (eventual) honesty ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Randi · March 13, 2010

    I know where you got your humor…I’m not sure where the honesty came from. Love your Mother

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