…One Giant Leap for Mommies Everywhere
So I promised I wouldn’t name any names. But I heard the greatest story last week, about a mommy who threw half of a banana at her husband’s head.
First, applause to the mommy, because the banana actually made contact (I would have missed and would have had to clean smeared banana off the microwave door).
Second, I in no way advocate the use of bananas as projectiles in domestic conflicts. And neither does Mommy X (like Madame X, get it? No? Whateva.) (Although, a banana isn’t the worst choice of things to throw.) (A tomato might be better. I’ve got ’em in spades, and some have gotten kinda soggy.)
Mommy X didn’t say why she got so angry she was driven to throw the banana. And it doesn’t matter. Haven’t we all been mad enough to throw a banana at some point? What’s important is that Mommy X was enraged. Enraged enough to hurl something at her husband’s head (lucky she was holding half a banana and not, say, cutlery). We’ve all been there, right?
The rest of the story, if you’re interested (and even if you’re not because this is my blog), is that the Banana’d spouse thought she was joking around at first, and he chuckled a little bit. Then he saw the look on her face and said something along the lines of, “Oh, I get it….”
So, confession time: have you ever been mad enough to chuck something at your Significant Other? Or (I can’t resist) – have you ever gone bananas?
What, you want me to go first? Fine. Yes. I threw my cell phone. But luckily Husband wasn’t actually at home. That was the problem – I was trying to call him at work and couldn’t reach him. I was very upset at the time, obviously.
I was rewarded with a new phone.
(For an interesting Parenting article, “Mad at Dad,” you can click here. And here’s the follow-up article.)
It’s been so long, I can’t remember ever throwing anything. I’m sure it’s simply because there was nothing nearby. I tend to result to full on screaming at the top of my lungs during my most enraged moments.
I threw a hairbrush at a boyfriend once. Missed. He thought it was funny–actually, I did too because I was so off-target. Let’s just say I will never pitch for the Yankees.
And I threw a bunch of a boyfriend’s clothes out of a second-story window. I threw him out as well. Does that count?
Sunny sent me your post, and I had to laugh. I am a thrower. I’ve thrown all sorts of things, mostly harmless items. My favorite is a pair of balled up socks. I’ve been known to thrown potholders, dirty underwear (when hubby is unthinking enough to leave them in the middle of the floor, don’t ask), and shoes. I rarely make contact, unfortunately, but I figure if someone leaves it in the middle of the floor, it’s fair game to be thrown at them.
I get this honestly. My mother was a thrower as well, and I must have inherited her aim, because once when I was little she broke a t.v. screen with a glass coke bottle throwing it at my father. It sounds worse than it was, because she said she never once hit her target and knew she wouldn’t, but admitted she would much rather have hit my father with the bottle than broken the t.v. set. When I was about eight she also threw my Little Orphan Annie mug, (I was a coffee drinker as a child), and it hit the wall, shattering it. It was an old one, that had Annie’s eyes in white because originally she was a blind orphan, and I brought up the incident so frequently over the years that two Christmases ago, some thirty plus years later, she found an identical one on ebay and bought it for me. Then my husband, who knew he was not supposed to be drinking from the sacred mug, accidentally dropped it and broke it. Some things are just not meant to be I guess.
Ha ha, these are great! Thanks for the confessions, Dana, Sunny, and Holli! Sunny, throwing out the boyfriend definitely counts. Throwing his clothes must have felt so satisfying.
Sunny sent me to your post, and since I’m in her “posse” I do everything Sunny tells me, most of the time. Very funny post about throwing stuff! Throwing—is that some kind of new contact sport? I heard Killer Tenn was great. Wish I could’ve gone, maybe next year.
A glass of wine in the face at a party is a violent as I have gotten. He remained very compoised even tho people were watching.
Sunny sent me your post, too, and I had to laugh about it. My husband and I were having a “spirited discussion” one morning and I happened to have the cordless phone in my hand. I threw it across the room. He looked at me, then the phone, and walked over to it. Picking it up, he slammed it down on the carpet, where it broke into little pieces. Needless to say, he’s a lot stronger than I am. I started to laugh and he got mad and walked outside to cool off.
I’ve always wanted to throw plates in fits of anger, but then I remember that I’m the one who’d have to clean up the mess. That stops me every time.
Holli, You mentioned your mother. I remember walking outside to the backyard once where I found my mother beating the hibiscus bush with a broom and a passion. She was angry at my dad. When she was done, she put the broom away and stomped into the house, where she gave me dad a make up kiss. Yep. Those hibiscus bushes are really good for something.
When Sunny sent me to this post, I thought, oh, she knows me too well! Heck yeah, I’ve been mad enough to throw stuff, and I have. Fortunately, my husband was in another state at the time and while my arm is good, cross country good, it’s not. What did I throw you ask? A cordless phone. The stuffed bear he sent me, which wasn’t all together too fair to the bear, he’d been more reliable at that point than my hubby.
These days, I just throw looks, dark, deadly and infinitely safer than anything else. Though a banana with the skin on might hurt just enough, but not leave any marks. I’ll have to remember that.
It looks like phones are popular projectiles! As Karyne says, though, dark deadly looks are the safest to throw.
Thanks, Sunny, for all the referrals – you have a great posse!
I must be the most boring person in the lot. I have never thrown anything at a husband or boyfriend. I have however gotten even. I won’t say how or why, but it was an old boyfriend and I’m not sure the statute of limitations is done. Great post! Glad Sunny sent it along.
Don’tcha love my posse? They are a terrific bunch. I try to point out great blogs to them and yours are terrific!
The Killer Nashville comment: I got you mixed up with Beth Hicks, who was the organizer. I just got back and it was so much fun. I’m a California girl and mixing with the Southerners was a real experience.
Thanks, Sunny! Your posse is terrific! Also, I’m glad to have solved the Nashville mystery.
UPDATE: Mommy X read this post and all the comments, and she said it made her feel better about her banana arm. She said it’s nice to know there are other “throwers” out there. 🙂
Sunny sent me too but I couldn’t get to it until 5:30 AM. What have I thrown? Well, lets just say, I’ve thrown fits, tantrums, the baby out with the bathwater, (not literally) thrown up on one guy, thrown out gifts from old girlfriends (oops!) and thrown away letters from old girlfriends. (oops 2!) but so far I have yet to match my sweet as pie, butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, 89 year old mom who once let it slip that she once broke a plate over my father’s head because he swore in front of her children. On another occasion she slashed all four tires on his car for going out “drinking” with his buddies. Mom evidently was a spitfire in her youth, nothing like her calm offspring.
Penny, thanks for stopping by and sharing! I also throw lots of fits, but I don’t throw enough things away. Your mom sounds like a great character!
Out of town a couple days, catching up on my emails and read this post! Plan on never-ever-ever upsetting any of you! Threw a cream-pie once many moons ago, (sorry, lemon not banana!) and never did again–clean up was tooooo much trouble! (BTW, Sunny sent me!) Madeline
Is it too funny that this blog has received the most comments? I have thrown many tantrums, too many to count unfortunately. I blame most of them on PMS and misbehaving children. I would so be a calm, sweet, easy-going person, if only everyone complied with my wishes. Probably my biggest tantrum was in the rental car place in Miami, when the van we had reserved was not available. Words flew, feet stomped and veins popped. Suffice it to say that I returned over four weeks later to the rental place with flowers in hand to apologize. When I asked the clerk if she remembered me, her eyes got really big, and she replied, I sure do. She accepted the flowers graciously, and I try to remember that episode, whenever I feel the need to blast off.
I remember the rental car tantrum story, but not the end bit that you brought her flowers! What a good example you set for me.