The Other Kind of App

It wasn’t something I downloaded. There were no electronic gadgets involved, only a pen and paper. On it, I wrote down Z’s name, her birthday. I circled eight adjectives that Husband and I thought best described her. I listed contact information. I attached a check.

It’s not the kind of app for your iPhone (I typed “eye-phone” at first, sheesh).

It’s The Preschool Application. And soon after her third birthday, I will upload my daughter into the car, drive her across town, unfasten the connection (aka the umbilical cord) and download her into the preschool parking lot. My feelings about this are already mixed, but I will admit I am mostly happy. When Z goes to preschool in the mornings, I will have an empty nest.

Party time!

Well, not exactly. I plan to do some work, maybe tutoring, maybe freelance editing, we’ll see. Maybe I’ll be unable to work because I’ll be crying my eyes out from missing my daughter’s companionship. Don’t laugh, it’s entirely possible. Negotiating the terms of our relationship is never straightforward, and my reactions (and hers) are often surprising.

Happily or not, we are about to embark on a very different era. One in which I don’t know every exact detail of every moment of her day. Strange, sad, and somewhat liberating.

3 comments

  1. Sevennblue · April 13, 2011

    I know how you feel mommy! I know you like to think you are going to cry….but you won’t. You will be making the most of four hours a day you’ve not had in ages!

  2. Vicki · April 13, 2011

    Yay for preschool!! I agree with Sevenblue – doubtful there will be tears, unless Z is crying at drop-off, then there might be. I was kind of surprised how little I got done the first few months D was in school, but that’s because I had L by then. I’d love to hear which school you decided on – maybe over a coffee session with our laptops & no kids some evening?

    • Beth Hull · April 13, 2011

      Seven, Vicki, I know, I totally can’t wait for this to happen. Honestly I don’t think I’ll cry. Vicki, yes, let’s get together soon!

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