The Subtle Art of Hyperbole

Other parents have corroborated this phenomenon: they make a simple request of their child and BOOM! They get a dramatic, hysterical reaction, usually accompanied by whining and/or tears, along with a wildly distorted rephrasal of the request. I think we need examples.


Ever-Suffering Mother: Hey Z, would you please pick up your puzzle before taking out your medical kit?

Z: [stomps feet, throws self on ground] But you don’t want me to play with anything!

ESM: Hmm. Not what I said.


ESM: Z, you need to use both hands to hold your cup.

Z: You don’t want me to drink any milk!

ESM: Hmm. Not what I said.


ESM: Darling, sweet daughter, who listens so well, let’s wear pants today instead of shorts because it’s cold.

Z: You said I can’t have any clothes!

ESM: Hmm. Not what I said.


ESM: Please, little angel, I’m begging you, would you mind very much NOT throwing my manuscript on the floor?

Z: You don’t want to share your things!

ESM: Hmm. Not what I said.


ESM: For the last time, stop talking to me during Quiet Play Time! I’m trying to work! [under breath: and win another game of solitaire]

Z: You just don’t want me to talk at all!

ESM: You got that right.

I don’t know where she got it, her tendency to overreact to things.

Shut up.

One comment

  1. Vic · October 15, 2011

    lots of chuckling & nodding my head in agreement over here… 🙂

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