This post would best be read aloud in the voice of Slappy Squirrel from Animaniacs. (If you don’t know Slappy, spend a little time on youtube getting acquainted with her. Here’s a place to start.)
Things that irritate me about myself
- I am easily irritated (Homes said, about ten years ago, “Your capacity for tolerating things that bother you is so low, it boggles the mind.” Obviously these words have stuck with me, if I’m quoting them ten years later.)
- I can’t seem to pass by a mirror without looking at myself. No, I am not enamoured of my own beauty. I don’t know why I do this, I just do
- when I get emotional and/or illogical during an argument
- my impatience in the kitchen, which translates to the same boring food options when I’m alone, like quesadillas, leftovers, sandwiches, and other things that take less than two minutes to prepare
- when I read/hear certain nouns like “doctor,” “fireman,” “judge,” or “medical examiner,” and automatically envision a man, not a woman
- the endless obsessing I’m capable of in regards to writing, exercising, dieting, and anything else that concerns just me
- my intense and undeniable need to have a good chunk of time to myself on a weekly, if not a daily, basis
Outside things that irritate me
- hearing only the bass portion of any song (I’m talking to you, people across the street!)
- yappy dogs
- listening to people who don’t like their jobs talk about their jobs (unless they can find the humor, ridiculousness, and/or grace in the situation – then this exercise is a learning opportunity)
- being stuck in a meeting or get-together where one person takes over the conversation, essentially turning everyone else into an unwilling audience
- commercials and advertisements
- door-to-door salespeople (Girl Scouts selling cookies excepted)
- telemarketers, mosquitos, and any song I hear played more than twice a day on a single radio station (okay, that was three in one, but I’m trying to keep this list to 14)
I think that now, being pregnant, is a good time to post such a list, because I can blame my bitchiness on pregnancy hormones. But really, these things always bother me and always have and probably always will.
While proofreading this, I realized that each of the seven “outside” irritants is auditory-related, with the exception of print advertisements, and maybe door-to-door salespeople who are mimes. Sensitive ears, I guess. What irritates you? And do you tend to be irritated more by things you see, or hear, or something else? Feel free to vent below, as long as it isn’t “I’m irritated by blog posts that are self-absorbed rants about things which irritate the blogger.”
Beth Hull 
I love the cartoon at the top.
When part of the trashbag doesn’t stay outside of the trashbin, but curls inward and everyone piles trash on top of it so that extricating the entire bag, when it’s time, is an extremely yukky, like-performing-surgery type of experience (performed ALWAYS by me).
Magazine pages that stick together (I’m busy–I don’t have time for that!)
Wilting flowers I swear I just watered.
People who have completely given up on not starting sentences with conjunctions. But I’m guilty of doing just that. And pretty much all the time…
Repeating something I’ve just told my husband–twice–then asking him to repeat his mumbled reply.
Traffic. Traffic. Traffic.
Thanks, Beth. I needed that.
Amen to the trash bag, PB! And traffic, too. UGH. And I’m guilty of starting sentences with conjunctions. How do you feel about prepositions ending sentences? What do people do that for?
Love the irritant post!
for me:
1) People that go into granular detail on instructions for things I already know how to do (and the sad part is that I do this too!)
things about others:
1) Guys that think they can kiss you on the first date… YUCK! I don’t even know you buddy?
Yes, Seven! – and then the people giving the lengthy instructions are the type who don’t get the hint you don’t need them, and then you’re just nodding your head for an ETERNITY.
I’d say the thing that irritates me the most is impatient people – and then they act rude and treat others like dirt because they’re so impatient.
Haha, Maggie – most of my friends & family would describe me as impatient. However, I’m nonconfrontational so tend not to say anything when someone’s using up my (very finite amount of) patience. Except telemarketers who don’t take no for an answer. They must suffer my wrath.
People who always manage to play the “victim” role in whatever scenario they’re whining to me about; it takes everything within me to not smack them with the back of my hand & yell “Your life does NOT SUCK!!!! Get over yourself!!!!”
Thankfully I only have 2 acquaintences that come to mind but they irritate the heck outta me just because of that victim attitude – grrrr…..
Fun post! And feel free to smack me if I absorb a conversation – seriously!!
Vicki, I’ll smack you (but not too hard) if you take over a conversation. I’ve never seen you do it, though, and I don’t think you’re the type!
Also, feel free to smack me if I ever get too whiny and victim-y. I know I’ve done it before!