“He Don’t Eat No Meat?”

[I can’t take credit for the Salad is Murder thing – it was a postcard I purchased years ago in San Rafael. Unfortunately I can’t dig it up anywhere, so had to recreate it. Apologies to the original artist. Hers is WAY better.]

[Insert movie still from My Big Fat Greek Wedding here. Copyright paranoia, c’est moi.]

We eat meat. Not a whole bunch. Maybe two meals involve meat each week. We get a lot of protein from tofu, cheese, beans, and eggs. As a result, Z has never really had to think about where meat comes from, and we never really told her. “Hey kid, by the way, that’s Chicken Little you’re gobbling up right now.” Or, “Remember the cows in ‘Click Clack Moo’? Yum! That’ll teach ’em to go on strike!” Or, “Yup, that Olivia is a darling, and she makes FINE bacon!”

Not really the conversation we’ve been eager to have.

So the other day, we’re at the table, and I’m eating my DELICIOUS HAM AND CHEESE CROISSANT OH MY GOSH MUST GO BACK FOR MORE and somehow, it comes up. Meat. That it comes from animals.

And Z just giggling, and saying, “That isn’t right, that isn’t right!” and she means that we’re joking, we must be, because who would eat those cute little animals?

Well, we do, I guess. I’ve toyed with the idea of going vegetarian, or maybe restricting my meat consumption to fish. But nothing’s pushed me all the way in that direction…yet. Maybe Z will be the one to do it. (Fish as food doesn’t seem to bother Z at all – she has a Finding Nemo toy that did not make it into her stuffed friends drawer but went, instead, to her pretend food bin).

Because who wants to eat Olivia?! (Well, if Olivia’s in my ham and cheese croissant, the answer is: I do.)


  1. becomingcliche · February 22, 2012

    My daughter went vegetarian when she was 10. Our meals now are primarily meatless because I refuse to cook two meals at night. It’s surprisingly painless, although I do get the occasional sudden urge to chew on a cow.

  2. Sevennblue · February 22, 2012

    I would be a vegetarian if it weren’t for HAM! YUM!

  3. readingisdelicious · February 22, 2012

    As you know, I tried being vegetarian (mostly) and failed. Meat tastes too good! Especially pork. Mmmm… pork.

    I’m still mostly a vegetarian out of laziness. I just hate cooking with meat, usually. Too much trouble! And messy!

    I know someone who went vegetarian at 3 once he realized where meat came from. He’s also kinda petite. So just make sure you replace all those missing nutrients.

    And EW, re: eating Olivia!! That’s horrible!! I only eat pork from pigs who don’t wear clothes.

  4. Beth Hull · February 22, 2012

    becomingcliche, you had me cracking up about chewing on cows.

    Seven & readingisdelicious, I had no idea pork/ham was such a popular meat product! I mean, I enjoy a grilled ham & cheese croissant as much as the next huge pregnant lady (maybe moreso).

    readingisdelicious – I am mostly vegetarian out of laziness, too. Meat’s messy. I’m like my mom & always worried about cooking it enough. And I barely know how to brown hamburger. Besides, meat’s expensive (yes, so is organic produce. Maybe not the best argument). Also, I vow to never eat a pig who wears clothes. Pigling Bland and Olivia are both safe from me.

  5. PB Rippey · February 22, 2012

    My husband is a vegetarian, except that he eats fish, except that my 4 year old won’t–not even fishsticks–so I cook chicken and chik’n for the boy, fish for the man and I eat by sampling. Except for this evening, when my husband showed up with a birthday take-out dinner consisting of a big juicy steak and potatoes mashed w/bacon, a tuna sandwich for himself and my son had spinach and cheese tortellinis. I think we’re a long way from the Olivia talk…Hysterical about Nemo going to the food bin!

    • Beth Hull · February 22, 2012

      Is it YOUR birthday, PB? If so, happy birthday to you! If not, happy birthday to someone else! I hope you enjoyed the dinner – I love the variety in your family meals. I’d probably sample, too.

  6. Maggie · February 23, 2012

    I think I could become a vegetarian. The only meat I’d miss is chicken, and the occasional strip of bacon.

    • Beth Hull · February 23, 2012

      You’ve got me thinking about what I would miss if I became a vegetarian, Maggie. A cheeseburger, and of course, that magical croissant I keep talking about. Sushi. But I eat these things so rarely anyway, I don’t know how much it would matter. Maybe I could be a vegetarian, like, 90 percent of the time or something.

  7. Vic · February 27, 2012

    Mmmm, bacon…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaK9bjLy3v4. We have meat at (almost) every.single.meal. Not my choice, necessarily, but I have a caveman for a husband!! 🙂

    • Beth Hull · February 27, 2012

      Some people just gotta have it, I guess! And honestly, I do have my days!

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