Colonel Shifty’s Haiku Made Easy – Query Critique or Poem Giveaway

Okay, so I actually used to do this when I worked in a restaurant. On my close-out envelope, I’d write a few 5- and 7-syllable options and ask a coworker to choose and voila, a ready-made haiku. Indulge me?

1st Lines
sweet peppers pungent
giraffes wear lipstick
television light
traveling rat spa
little mermaid fin

2nd Lines
winter elephant in bloom
LEGO music Clair de Lune
ice cream melts antagonist
Wichita parades at noon
lavender shoe fetishist

3rd Lines
ickle ockle blue
scented miracle
Areola’s smile
superstar panda
jealous macaroon

Post your haiku in the comments! One entry per person, but feel free to create as many as you like. And feel free to switch things up a bit (substitute words or lines of your own or whatever). Winning haiku will be chosen by Colonel Shifty on Thursday, August 29th at 1:36 pm Pacific time. (Colonel Shifty is actually a gopher, so I will help him by drawing a name out of a hat or using some kind of number generator thingie.) The prize…the prize…um. (Can you tell I’m winging this whole thing?) I’ll critique your query letter. If you don’t have a query letter, or don’t want me to critique it, I will write you a poem. A personalized poem! By me! Yay!


  1. PB Rippey · August 23, 2013

    Generous, Beth is! Yoda,
    am not. Haiku has always eluded me (see what I mean?).
    But I love your above lines, especially Giraffes wear lipstick. Because they do, right? Especially when dancing by the light of blue moons. Have retweeted your offer.

    • Beth Hull · August 24, 2013

      Thank you, PB! And yes, that is a truth about giraffes.

  2. Randi · August 23, 2013

    little mermaid fin
    lavender shoe fetishist
    my daughter Beth rocks

  3. Myrna Foster · August 24, 2013

    No one flicked chocolate
    all over the top of the
    jealous macaroon

  4. jamieweilhealthcoach · August 24, 2013

    Zoo Perfect

    giraffes wear lipstick
    winter elephant in bloom
    Areola’s smile

    Finally, mad lib Haiku. Where have you been all my life, QS? (Eh hem–Colonel Shifty)

    • Beth Hull · August 24, 2013

      What’s sad is I forgot about it (er, Colonel Shifty forgot about it) for twelve years! Now mad lib haiku is back!

    • Beth Hull · August 24, 2013

      PS Great haiku, Jamie!

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