“Up!”
“Not now, Babykins.”
“Read please.”
“Not now, Babykins.”
“Sit…down!”
“Not now, Babykins.”
“Play!”
“Not now, Babykins.”
“Go bye-bye?”
“Not now, Babykins.”
“Hello song.”
“Not now, Babykins.”
If I’m making myself sound like a heartless jerk, well, sometimes I feel that way. The above is not exactly how a day-in-the-life goes, but sometimes it feels close. Why is it such a struggle to do these three things: 1) interact with my daughter (i.e. entertain her), 2) accomplish day-to-day chores and errands, and 3) try to rescue that weakening hold on some semblance of my old, not-mom identity?
This isn’t a unique or original concern; I’m certain millions of parents wonder the same thing every day. My usual compromise is to run errands, because Z loves getting out, and if the car ride is long enough I can usually get inside my own head for a little while to just think. Then we get something done, and if I’m lucky I can think on the way home with the “Hello Song” blasting.
[I’m going to pretend she didn’t just now hurl a bowl of Cheerios across the basement floor. Which is carpeted in Cheerio-colored shag.]
[Oh lovely, now she’s picking them up and handing them to me, because she knows our floors aren’t clean enough to eat off of.]
It’s time for breakfast, anyway. Our internet connection has been fritzy the past couple of days, so I wanted to seize this rare moment of functional internet to write. The spastic internet is probably a point in Z’s favor, since it forces us out of the basement office and up to the play room, or the back yard, or the library, or the plant nursery. And maybe on the way to or from those places, I can get some me-time in.
Beth Hull 
Include me amongst the “millions of other parents” who battle those same exact feelings nearly every day. I haven’t discovered the key to calming the angst just yet. I am learning to stop myself when I truly feel like I’m ignoring my boys & just play with them for a bit, read books, go for a walk. Lately I’ve been taking full advantage of the afternoon sun & we all head out to the backyard, with books in hand. I just sit on the grass with D & read & read & read while L roams & explores the yard. I love it – it’s distracting enough for me to not care about ALL the things that need tending to in the home, we’re all getting some sunlight but not roasting in the open sun at a park or something, it’s relaxing for everyone, & I actually feel like I connected with my kids without a huge amount of effort. Not sure what I’ll do when it’s unbearably hot out, but it’ll probably involve the kiddie pool & a water hose 🙂