First I saw this. And freaked out.
Then I guessed it was an exoskeleton, & freaked out more.
Then I decided to vacuum the whole house (@Izandra thought the best solution was to move and burn the house down…I seriously considered that option first). And when I got ready to vacuum, I saw an extra leg behind the curtain loop. (Please note: that is a vase, not a cup.)
copyright Homes
I feel only a little bit bad being happy that Homes was here, sick in bed, and I could accidentally-on-purpose wake him up to remove the spider. He took a picture of it outside in its new habitat. (For the record, “the backyard” does not count as “way the hell away from our house EEEEEEE!” as per my instructions. However, the arachnid is no longer residing in our living room and I will have to be content with that.)
Beth Hull 
Hm. My last comment didn’t go through. Oh, well. What I said was: HOLY MOLY GUACAMOLE!!! Do you know what kind it is? I’ve never seen one that big here. To have the added joy of the exoskeleton—screaming. Hooray for Homes!
I don’t know what I would’ve done without Homes here. Maybe run up & down the street looking for a neighbor who could deal with it for me? A couple of friends have guessed wolf spider or grass spider. Whatever it is, it belongs to the genus “scare-ius.”
My wife’s been battling centipedes here since we got married. She’s thankful when management sends the bug guy over every few months…
Eight legs is too many; I have no words for centipedes. Speechless horror.
It’s HUGE! But it’s nice you found it a new habitat. I’m afraid if it was at our house it’s new habitat would have been inside the vacuum with the dog hair. (Not very Buddhist, I know.) Way to dodge the bullet, QS!
I’d have squished or vacuumed it if I’d been home alone, but I would’ve screamed like a ninny the entire time, and probably scared the baby. I’m SO glad Homes was here!
Holy crapola, that is nast!! Kudos for not fainting or running outta the house screaming like a banshee!!
The urge was there, Vic! But the instinct to stay and protect my offspring (who probably looked like crumbs to this beast) was too strong. 😉